A lawyer and a doctor were argueing one day over whether it was better to have a wife or a mistress.
"A mistress is the best," said the lawyer. "She's there when you want her, you're not tied if you see something better, and when its over there are no messy issues to be settled in court."
"Not so!" said the doctor. "Medical research very cleary shows that married people live happier, more stable lives. They are healthier and live longer when in a monogomous relationship."
Just then a physicist passed by, and the lawyer and doctor decided to settle the debate with a third opinion.
"Which do you think is better?" they asked the physicist, "to have a wife or a mistress?"
"Why, both of course!" said the physicist, "that way while each thinks you're with the other, you can get to the lab and get some work done!"
And thus explains my wife's comment that I have been blogging about my mistress, the 657 nm laser. I have to admit, red lasers are pretty sexy. The problem with a laser, however, is that it will never love you as much as you love it. I suppose that's why I keep going back to it. It is true that physics is a very demanding job, but those who do it, do it because they love it.
We're like super engineers except the stuff we build takes forever to make it work and in the end won't improve your quality of life. At the same time, an engineer could'nt build all that stuff you actually buy if some physicist hadn't been tinkering in his lab while his wife toyed with thoughts of divorce (It's actually not very funny because it really is true. More than one man has traded his family for a shot at the Nobel Prize).
I recently went to a conference where a man named Charles Townes (the first man to build a successful maser) spoke. He is 93 years old and still works 6 day work weeks. Amazingly his first and only wife was there with him. She got up to say a few words too: "Over the past 68 years Charlie has had two mistresses..... guess which one I am?!...." She was a pretty funny lady. She has a pendant made from a piece of the ruby crystal that Charles Townes built his maser out of. One day, they were sitting at a table with another man who worked on masers and his wife. She was showing off her pendant and how beautiful it was. Later that night, the other woman turned to her husband and said "When am I going to get a ruby?" "Dear," he replied, "my maser is made out of cyanide!" She never brought it up again I imagine. Mrs. Townes also wrote a book about being the wife of a physicist. I suppose I should get a copy of it for Katie to read.
Anyway, I'll leave you with another little story:
One day two princesses were walking through the forest and they came across a talking frog. "Pick me up and give me a kiss and I will turn into the best baker in all the world," croaked the frog. So the princess picked him up and kissed him. Sure enough, the frog turned into a baker who made the most exquisite pies and pastries anyone had ever tasted.
Some time later, the two ladies were again walking through the forest when they came across another frog. "Pick me up and kiss me and I will turn into the most incredible hair dresser in all the world," croaked the frog. The princess picked him up and kissed him, and sure enough the two ladies hair dos were the always at the forefront of fashion and beauty.
And yet again, the princesses were wondering through the forest for a third time when they came across a frog. "Pick me up and kiss me and I will become the brightest physicist and will invent and build many wonderful things!" said the frog. The princess bent down, picked up the frog, and put him in her pocket. "Why did you do that?" asked the other princess. "Because," replied the first, "everyone knows that a talking frog is more valuable than a physicist!"
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Friday, November 7, 2008
Alright, I don't know why I am even bothering to post on my blog now that I've let it lay dormant for over 6 months. Crazy. If anybody was meandering over here to laugh and pity my rantings and ravings I am sure they have not done so for a long time. Nobody will read this besides my wife probably (that's right Alex, I just called you a nobody ;) ).
Anyway, with this post I am going to do something that I have meant to do with this blog since its inception: use it to share at least a little of my research. For those who don't know I am working on a Ph.D. dissertation in Physics. My project consist of building a matter-wave interferometer based on calcium, and hopefully will expand to a dual-species apparatus using both calcium and strontium. Let me explain.
Interferometers do exactly what the name implies: they interfere things. Specifically, they interfere waves. At its most basic this is no different then taking a smooth body of water, creating a wave, and then watching as the wave bounces off of a wall back on itself with the troughs and peaks adding and subtracting as they pass through each other. To interfere waves in the best way, you need what is called a coherent source. This means that all the waves of a certain frequency are in phase with each other over a long enough distance, i.e. all the troughs and peaks at a certain frequency look like a sine wave when put together. In the case of light, normal ambient light (whether natural or electric) is not coherent, while laser light is coherent. While you can in fact make a simple enough interferometer with white decoherent light, an interferometer based on laser light becomes a powerful tool for precision metrology (the science of measureing things precisely). In fact, laser interferometers comprise some of the best detectors being used and built to look for gravity waves.
Now, you may recall from some introductory science class Einstein, the photo-electic effect, and the "wave particle duality of light". Meaning that in some instances we can observe light behaving like a particle while in others light seems to behave like a wave. Some time later a bright young man named de Broglie realized that maybe mass or matter has a duality as well. Maybe sometimes atoms act like waves while most of the time acting like a particle. It turns out that not only was he right, but if you can produce atoms with wave functions that are coherent (like the photons in laser light) then you can mix them in an interferometer. That is my project: to create a device which coherently interferes the waves associated with calcium atoms and then use it to measure and test cool stuff. Despite the extreme difficulty of this project and the frustration of experimental physics, I love doing this. Along the way I have developed the world's quietest, most diverse, diode laser current driver as well as a small catalog of lab standard scientific instruments that we use to run our experiments. And that is just the tip of the ice berg.
After years of building and developing I am actually getting close to turning the damn thing on. Bellow are some pictures I took of the inside of the vacuum chamber as I was assembling the interferometer. I'll try to explain to you what happens as best I can.
This picture shows where light first enters the vacuum chamber. The laser light that we use to manipulate the calcium's wave function gets focused by a lens down to the pinhole on the left of the picture. This has the effect of making the light look nice spatially which makes a difference to the atoms. The second optic recolimates the light after the pinhole and a mirror then sends the laser over to the rest of the interferometer.
The pinhole and lens setup is on the far right of this picture. The light goes from there over to the mirror at the top left of the picture, which sends it a beamsplitter (that big rectangular block of glass just below the mirror). At the bottom righ of the picture are two skimmers. An oven that you can't see off the right side of the picture heats up calcium which starts to flow toward the left of the picture. The skimmers catch a part of the calcium and collimate it into a well defined beam of atoms about 1 mm in diameter. The big things in the lower left are the first of several large coils of wire which create a magnetic field to help align the electronic states of our atoms.
Here you can see the main body of the interferometer. The light is split up by the beamsplitter and then directed through the interferometer by precision prisms so that it crosses the atom beam 4 times. The atoms pass through the center of the magnetic coils. I worked extremely hard so that all the laser beams lies within the same plane to a fraction of a millimeter and the prisms helped me to ensure that the beams cross the atoms at right angles to within 50 micro radians. The lens at the lower left marks the end of the interferometer. At this point blue laser light is passed into the chamber to make the calcium atoms flouresce. The lens collimates that flourescence and sends it through a window in the top of the chamber. This constitutes the signal from the interferometer.
A closeup of the lens that captures the blue flourescence from the atoms.
The chamber is now sealed and under vacuum (the pressure inside the chamber is currently hovering around 8x10^-8 Torr... no, there is not enough air for you to breath in there). I am currently working on the laser systems that run the interferometer and will update you on them shortly I hope.
Anyway, with this post I am going to do something that I have meant to do with this blog since its inception: use it to share at least a little of my research. For those who don't know I am working on a Ph.D. dissertation in Physics. My project consist of building a matter-wave interferometer based on calcium, and hopefully will expand to a dual-species apparatus using both calcium and strontium. Let me explain.
Interferometers do exactly what the name implies: they interfere things. Specifically, they interfere waves. At its most basic this is no different then taking a smooth body of water, creating a wave, and then watching as the wave bounces off of a wall back on itself with the troughs and peaks adding and subtracting as they pass through each other. To interfere waves in the best way, you need what is called a coherent source. This means that all the waves of a certain frequency are in phase with each other over a long enough distance, i.e. all the troughs and peaks at a certain frequency look like a sine wave when put together. In the case of light, normal ambient light (whether natural or electric) is not coherent, while laser light is coherent. While you can in fact make a simple enough interferometer with white decoherent light, an interferometer based on laser light becomes a powerful tool for precision metrology (the science of measureing things precisely). In fact, laser interferometers comprise some of the best detectors being used and built to look for gravity waves.
Now, you may recall from some introductory science class Einstein, the photo-electic effect, and the "wave particle duality of light". Meaning that in some instances we can observe light behaving like a particle while in others light seems to behave like a wave. Some time later a bright young man named de Broglie realized that maybe mass or matter has a duality as well. Maybe sometimes atoms act like waves while most of the time acting like a particle. It turns out that not only was he right, but if you can produce atoms with wave functions that are coherent (like the photons in laser light) then you can mix them in an interferometer. That is my project: to create a device which coherently interferes the waves associated with calcium atoms and then use it to measure and test cool stuff. Despite the extreme difficulty of this project and the frustration of experimental physics, I love doing this. Along the way I have developed the world's quietest, most diverse, diode laser current driver as well as a small catalog of lab standard scientific instruments that we use to run our experiments. And that is just the tip of the ice berg.
After years of building and developing I am actually getting close to turning the damn thing on. Bellow are some pictures I took of the inside of the vacuum chamber as I was assembling the interferometer. I'll try to explain to you what happens as best I can.
This picture shows where light first enters the vacuum chamber. The laser light that we use to manipulate the calcium's wave function gets focused by a lens down to the pinhole on the left of the picture. This has the effect of making the light look nice spatially which makes a difference to the atoms. The second optic recolimates the light after the pinhole and a mirror then sends the laser over to the rest of the interferometer.
The pinhole and lens setup is on the far right of this picture. The light goes from there over to the mirror at the top left of the picture, which sends it a beamsplitter (that big rectangular block of glass just below the mirror). At the bottom righ of the picture are two skimmers. An oven that you can't see off the right side of the picture heats up calcium which starts to flow toward the left of the picture. The skimmers catch a part of the calcium and collimate it into a well defined beam of atoms about 1 mm in diameter. The big things in the lower left are the first of several large coils of wire which create a magnetic field to help align the electronic states of our atoms.
Here you can see the main body of the interferometer. The light is split up by the beamsplitter and then directed through the interferometer by precision prisms so that it crosses the atom beam 4 times. The atoms pass through the center of the magnetic coils. I worked extremely hard so that all the laser beams lies within the same plane to a fraction of a millimeter and the prisms helped me to ensure that the beams cross the atoms at right angles to within 50 micro radians. The lens at the lower left marks the end of the interferometer. At this point blue laser light is passed into the chamber to make the calcium atoms flouresce. The lens collimates that flourescence and sends it through a window in the top of the chamber. This constitutes the signal from the interferometer.
A closeup of the lens that captures the blue flourescence from the atoms.
The chamber is now sealed and under vacuum (the pressure inside the chamber is currently hovering around 8x10^-8 Torr... no, there is not enough air for you to breath in there). I am currently working on the laser systems that run the interferometer and will update you on them shortly I hope.
Saturday, April 19, 2008
My Simpson
So after seeing it on someone elses blog I decided to "simpsonize" myself (http://www.simpsonsmovie.com/). I probably could have spent more time on it, well I really couldn't spend the time that I did. But oh well.
Friday, April 18, 2008
The Adventure of a Physicist and an Engineer
Well, here we have it again. I am a physicist and my neighbor is an engineer. It seems that whenever one of us asks the other a question of some sort it ends up being some day long project that prevents either of us from doing whatever chore our wives originally asked us to do. Last Saturday, the unimaginable project of the day was fixing the leaky spillcock on the front of my house. When I first thought of the title of this entry I thought about doing in the style of the "Walrus and the Carpenter" for those of you who remember Alice in Wonderland. Anyway, given that my newborn baby is still in the NICU and I am extremely tired I'll just relate what I can remember of it at this point.
So it all starts with the fact that for the past 4 years the spillcock on the front of my house has dripped. For the past four years I've provided water (the spillcock) and a litter box (my kids sandbox) for the stray cats of the neighborhood. Those days had to end. While I don't really know how to end the litter box issue (aside from letting my great dane roam the yard as much as possible) I knew I could fix the spillcock which would also save some money. I was a little reluctant to do this because I knew that the drippy exterior faucet was doing it's part to keep global warming in check, but darn it, scientists are just going to have to find another way!
So I started to disassemble the spillcock and when it didn't come apart as I expected (or at all for that matter) I began to wonder if there was something I didn't know about how they are put together and decided to ask my neighbor P, the engineer.
It turns out P was not having the best engineering day that day... Earlier in the morning at P's house he had been refilling his something like 30 gallon, industrial strength, hospital quality humidifier that somebody else thought was a good item for DI because it had a broken valve. Well, a broken valve is easy enough for any engineer to take care of I'm sure P would tell you. What P forgot to tell himself was that the huge tank he'd just filled up and left in his bathroom has a simple bouyant lever arm that opens or closes the valve depending on its orientation. So when P noticed water dripping down into his basement the last thing on his mind was the great jug of liquid he'd left so simply upstairs. It did however come to his mind after he'd ensured that the kids hadn't been forcing water through cracks in the foundation of his house. By that time, his kids had vowed to never touch a hose again under the pressure of the inquisition and inches of water had been retained in the bathroom. P had just finished taking care of that and was bringing his wet vac outside to empty when I approached him that morning. It was a simple problem he told me. Of course, it would be for an engineer I told myself.
Well, if I'd known how P had started out the morning I might have left it at that. But with P digging out all his toys that we like to play with (including walkie-talkies and head strap flashlights), I was too excited to worry about that. We decided that the spillcock should have dissasembled how I expected it too, and therefore probably was not a "freeze-proof" model like I thought it was. The idea now was to very carefully clamp onto the pipe inside the house while turning the spillcock outside the house so as to remove it without busting any joints that had been swetted or breaking any pipes that might be brittle. Well, the first quarter turn brought a loud "pop!" I said that can't be good into my walkie-talkie. "It's probably just an old crusty pipe thread starting to turn," said P. Yeah, we popped the swetted joint inside the wall, and it was by the way a freeze-proof spillcock.
No biggie. I'm a physicist and he's an engineer.
So this prompted a tour of P's basement and exterior wall where we examined what he had done when installing his own outdoor water access and then came up with a war plan to replace mine. The war plan was based around going to the "candy store". For people like P and myself the name of the "candy store" is Harbor Freight. We're waiting for them to start ice cream truck routes, but in the meantime they're only a 10 minute drive away. We actually didn't have to go to the candy store for this specific project, but we had to go to Lowe's for it anyway so we might as well have and our wives were too tired to point that out.
Our wives did however make us eat lunch first. While P was on his lunch break he went to clean up the bathroom from that morning and as he was pivoting his chest cavity on the edge of the tub he heard a very familiar loud "pop!", just like the one we heard from the pipe on my house. Except this time the pop came from P's rib. Thank goodness it was just his rib, another other bone and he would have had to go to a doctor to get it set. Since it was his rib there was nothing he could do but continue on to the candy store with me.... darn it, nothing he could do about it at all.
Well, by the time we got back and assembled and installed the spillcock it was past dinner time and the day was long gone. But hey, that's what happens when you cross a physicist with an engineer.
So it all starts with the fact that for the past 4 years the spillcock on the front of my house has dripped. For the past four years I've provided water (the spillcock) and a litter box (my kids sandbox) for the stray cats of the neighborhood. Those days had to end. While I don't really know how to end the litter box issue (aside from letting my great dane roam the yard as much as possible) I knew I could fix the spillcock which would also save some money. I was a little reluctant to do this because I knew that the drippy exterior faucet was doing it's part to keep global warming in check, but darn it, scientists are just going to have to find another way!
So I started to disassemble the spillcock and when it didn't come apart as I expected (or at all for that matter) I began to wonder if there was something I didn't know about how they are put together and decided to ask my neighbor P, the engineer.
It turns out P was not having the best engineering day that day... Earlier in the morning at P's house he had been refilling his something like 30 gallon, industrial strength, hospital quality humidifier that somebody else thought was a good item for DI because it had a broken valve. Well, a broken valve is easy enough for any engineer to take care of I'm sure P would tell you. What P forgot to tell himself was that the huge tank he'd just filled up and left in his bathroom has a simple bouyant lever arm that opens or closes the valve depending on its orientation. So when P noticed water dripping down into his basement the last thing on his mind was the great jug of liquid he'd left so simply upstairs. It did however come to his mind after he'd ensured that the kids hadn't been forcing water through cracks in the foundation of his house. By that time, his kids had vowed to never touch a hose again under the pressure of the inquisition and inches of water had been retained in the bathroom. P had just finished taking care of that and was bringing his wet vac outside to empty when I approached him that morning. It was a simple problem he told me. Of course, it would be for an engineer I told myself.
Well, if I'd known how P had started out the morning I might have left it at that. But with P digging out all his toys that we like to play with (including walkie-talkies and head strap flashlights), I was too excited to worry about that. We decided that the spillcock should have dissasembled how I expected it too, and therefore probably was not a "freeze-proof" model like I thought it was. The idea now was to very carefully clamp onto the pipe inside the house while turning the spillcock outside the house so as to remove it without busting any joints that had been swetted or breaking any pipes that might be brittle. Well, the first quarter turn brought a loud "pop!" I said that can't be good into my walkie-talkie. "It's probably just an old crusty pipe thread starting to turn," said P. Yeah, we popped the swetted joint inside the wall, and it was by the way a freeze-proof spillcock.
No biggie. I'm a physicist and he's an engineer.
So this prompted a tour of P's basement and exterior wall where we examined what he had done when installing his own outdoor water access and then came up with a war plan to replace mine. The war plan was based around going to the "candy store". For people like P and myself the name of the "candy store" is Harbor Freight. We're waiting for them to start ice cream truck routes, but in the meantime they're only a 10 minute drive away. We actually didn't have to go to the candy store for this specific project, but we had to go to Lowe's for it anyway so we might as well have and our wives were too tired to point that out.
Our wives did however make us eat lunch first. While P was on his lunch break he went to clean up the bathroom from that morning and as he was pivoting his chest cavity on the edge of the tub he heard a very familiar loud "pop!", just like the one we heard from the pipe on my house. Except this time the pop came from P's rib. Thank goodness it was just his rib, another other bone and he would have had to go to a doctor to get it set. Since it was his rib there was nothing he could do but continue on to the candy store with me.... darn it, nothing he could do about it at all.
Well, by the time we got back and assembled and installed the spillcock it was past dinner time and the day was long gone. But hey, that's what happens when you cross a physicist with an engineer.
A.C.E.
HE'S HERE!!!! He's finally here! After nine months of eternity we finally have a baby boy with us. And believe me it was 9 months of eternity with the last month being just as long as the previous 8. At 7:02 in the morning K delivered a 7 lb 14 oz, 20" long ball of joy with the longest black hair I've ever seen on a newborn (the longest hairs are around 2" long!). He is the biggest kid yet with nearly a full pound over his other two siblings at birth.
The night before the delivery K and I dropped the kids off at G & G's and then had our last little date for a while at Tepenyaki (Sushi and Hibachi place). Then we came home to find a message on our answering machine telling us that the delivery had been bumped up, and we had to be at the hospital at 4:45 am. We spent until 11 or so cleaning the house and then went to bed. Well, I went to bed. K fell asleep for about 30 minutes and then was back up for the rest of the night.
The delivery went off without a hitch. They let me go with K to the OR to get her spinal, and then they began the operation. The Nurse Anethesthitist (heaven forbid you should call him an Anesthesiologist.... apparently the difference is anesthesiologists "don't care about people") happened to be from K's old home ward, and we actually had met him when we were living in California during K's first pregnancy. We also had a very chatty nurse in training who told K all about her personal life and why she didn't have kids yet and then she went on to speculate about what she would crave if she were pregnant. I guess it's easy to talk to people who are strapped to a table with their gut split open.
When they first opened K up there was a sudden ball of hair that popped up out of nowhere. He got stuck there for a little bit because the doctors underestimated how big his head was (cabezon!). He came out swinging and pretty darn angry. He sounded good and had was screaming pretty hard at people. Finally one of the nurses got close enough for him to land a kick on her stomach. He's a pretty strong little guy and he certainly got her attention. She didn't give him another chance.
Anyway, I got to carry him back to the nursery. After about 30 seconds he was still taking very shallow, very rapid breaths so he got moved back to the "Special Care Nursery". I didn't really like that until the nurse explained to me that it wasn't "special" in the same sense as some kids getting to ride the "short bus". He needed an oxygen hood because he couldn't keep the oxygen levels in his blood high enough and he was taking about 150 breaths a minute (about 3 times more than you like to see a newborn taking). His blood sugar was getting low (54 with 60 being normal) which was indicating that he was using a lot of energy just trying to breath.
Finally, a full blood test and x-ray was done. His lungs were completely lit up with infection in the images. He was born with congenital pnemonia, most likely due to either the high fevers his sister had a couple of weeks ago or an ear infection that his brother had about the same time. The good thing (really) was that he already had the infection and was in the healing stage when he was born. He just needs a little help. Uncle T and I were able to give him a blessing and then he was carted off to the NICU.
K was a basket case after coming back from the OR and finding out that her son wasn't coming back to the room also. We kept her updated on A's condition as much as possible, but it was a very difficult moment. Finally, her nurse took her down to the NICU 5 hours before she was supposed to be moved at all. Seeing him and knowing he was okay finally put her soul at rest and she was able to calm down a little.
We are very grateful and appreciative of all the concern from family and friends yesterday. It was a very emotional and hectic day so we didn't get to talk to many people and we kept conversations short with the ones we did talk to. We hope nobody felt shutout or putdown, but please understand we had other things on our minds besides entertaining visitors and people would not have been able to see the baby anyway if they had come. Apparently the rumors flew fast though as we got reports that K's ribs had been broken during the delivery and that I was barring people from entering the hospital. For the record, K's ribs are completely intact and the Utah National Guard was able to talk some sense into me. (Apparently we weren't the only people who had a baby here yesterday. Who knew!?)
Both Baby and Mom are doing just fine now. A will be in the NICU until next Thursday or Friday and K will be in the hospital until Monday morning at least. The doctor claims that A should have spent the last month working on developing his lungs instead of worrying about his looks and growing hair (his lungs were fully developed... that was a joke for those of you who haven't picked up the "subtle" running sarcasm).
Both B and Little K have been very excited and cute and have come to visit several times. They both want to thank A for the gifts he brought and hold him. They sang a little song for the video camera that we played for him in the NICU and he definitely responded to it.
As a last note, if any of you want to come visit K while she is still in the hospital, you are more than welcome to if you do not have a sick family member who you live with or have been sick yourself within the last week or so. Since K and I are constantly entering the NICU we really can't even have contact with people who have had contact with sick people. Please understand that you won't be able to see the baby until he comes home, but we appreciate your love and support, and can't wait to show him off to all of you (not through pictures!)!
The night before the delivery K and I dropped the kids off at G & G's and then had our last little date for a while at Tepenyaki (Sushi and Hibachi place). Then we came home to find a message on our answering machine telling us that the delivery had been bumped up, and we had to be at the hospital at 4:45 am. We spent until 11 or so cleaning the house and then went to bed. Well, I went to bed. K fell asleep for about 30 minutes and then was back up for the rest of the night.
The delivery went off without a hitch. They let me go with K to the OR to get her spinal, and then they began the operation. The Nurse Anethesthitist (heaven forbid you should call him an Anesthesiologist.... apparently the difference is anesthesiologists "don't care about people") happened to be from K's old home ward, and we actually had met him when we were living in California during K's first pregnancy. We also had a very chatty nurse in training who told K all about her personal life and why she didn't have kids yet and then she went on to speculate about what she would crave if she were pregnant. I guess it's easy to talk to people who are strapped to a table with their gut split open.
When they first opened K up there was a sudden ball of hair that popped up out of nowhere. He got stuck there for a little bit because the doctors underestimated how big his head was (cabezon!). He came out swinging and pretty darn angry. He sounded good and had was screaming pretty hard at people. Finally one of the nurses got close enough for him to land a kick on her stomach. He's a pretty strong little guy and he certainly got her attention. She didn't give him another chance.
Anyway, I got to carry him back to the nursery. After about 30 seconds he was still taking very shallow, very rapid breaths so he got moved back to the "Special Care Nursery". I didn't really like that until the nurse explained to me that it wasn't "special" in the same sense as some kids getting to ride the "short bus". He needed an oxygen hood because he couldn't keep the oxygen levels in his blood high enough and he was taking about 150 breaths a minute (about 3 times more than you like to see a newborn taking). His blood sugar was getting low (54 with 60 being normal) which was indicating that he was using a lot of energy just trying to breath.
Finally, a full blood test and x-ray was done. His lungs were completely lit up with infection in the images. He was born with congenital pnemonia, most likely due to either the high fevers his sister had a couple of weeks ago or an ear infection that his brother had about the same time. The good thing (really) was that he already had the infection and was in the healing stage when he was born. He just needs a little help. Uncle T and I were able to give him a blessing and then he was carted off to the NICU.
At the NICU A was fitted with a nasal CPAP (continous positive airway pressure) which helps to keep his lungs constantly inflated. He also has an intraveinous umbilical line, an IV in his left hand, and a multitude of electrodes stuck to his body. Being the fighter that he is, the nurse was left with no option but to put socks on his hands, and then to swaddle his arms across his body. Well, he wasn't going to let her forget that he wasn't happy with that, so he would move around as much as he could to dislodge the CPAP. She was finally forced to give him a little sedative. That's my boy!!
K was a basket case after coming back from the OR and finding out that her son wasn't coming back to the room also. We kept her updated on A's condition as much as possible, but it was a very difficult moment. Finally, her nurse took her down to the NICU 5 hours before she was supposed to be moved at all. Seeing him and knowing he was okay finally put her soul at rest and she was able to calm down a little.
We are very grateful and appreciative of all the concern from family and friends yesterday. It was a very emotional and hectic day so we didn't get to talk to many people and we kept conversations short with the ones we did talk to. We hope nobody felt shutout or putdown, but please understand we had other things on our minds besides entertaining visitors and people would not have been able to see the baby anyway if they had come. Apparently the rumors flew fast though as we got reports that K's ribs had been broken during the delivery and that I was barring people from entering the hospital. For the record, K's ribs are completely intact and the Utah National Guard was able to talk some sense into me. (Apparently we weren't the only people who had a baby here yesterday. Who knew!?)
Both Baby and Mom are doing just fine now. A will be in the NICU until next Thursday or Friday and K will be in the hospital until Monday morning at least. The doctor claims that A should have spent the last month working on developing his lungs instead of worrying about his looks and growing hair (his lungs were fully developed... that was a joke for those of you who haven't picked up the "subtle" running sarcasm).
Both B and Little K have been very excited and cute and have come to visit several times. They both want to thank A for the gifts he brought and hold him. They sang a little song for the video camera that we played for him in the NICU and he definitely responded to it.
As a last note, if any of you want to come visit K while she is still in the hospital, you are more than welcome to if you do not have a sick family member who you live with or have been sick yourself within the last week or so. Since K and I are constantly entering the NICU we really can't even have contact with people who have had contact with sick people. Please understand that you won't be able to see the baby until he comes home, but we appreciate your love and support, and can't wait to show him off to all of you (not through pictures!)!
Sunday, April 6, 2008
Can You Tell the Difference Between Aspen White and Aspen White?
Okay.... so the baby is coming and K has been hinting for some time that there are things that need to be done before the baby comes. Great, no problem. Until I get this list of 16 major projects 2 weeks before the delivery. Top of the list: Paint the doors in the house.... ALL the doors. That's right 16 doors (luckily the basement apartement didn't get added to this list). See, the thing is, well you may or may not have noticed when you were over, but not one single door in our house was painted for quite some time. A little while ago K tried to paint some of them by hand, but that is so slow and tedious that not many doors get done. On a side note: one of the exterior doors on our neighbors house is primed only and I never knew.... so why paint? Because the woman said so...
I spent an entire evening dismantling and cleaning doors, bought the paint, and got myself a neumatic spray painter out of the chore. Then rain was forcast for Saturday so I came home early Friday, lined the side of the house with plastic, set up the doors, and went to work. Or so I thought. It turns out that my new spray painter is a little too much man for my air compressor to handle. On top of that I had to spend a chunk of time figuring out the right amount to thin the paint for it to work optimally with the sprayer. Luckily my neighbor had a compressor I could borrow that could manage 5.7 SCFM, and I was off again.
With clouds threatening overhead I sprayed like a mad man. Finally, by the light of my motion activated back flood light I finished painting the 16th door. I stayed up late enough for the paint to dry so I could bring the doors in before the rain started, and felt pretty good about the whole deal.
Saturday morning..... clear. It did not rain even a couple of drops THE ENTIRE DAY. Fine, I like pretty days, so that was okay. I spent my time listening to conference and reassembling doors. That was when K made a startling observation.
So a couple years back when K painted all the trim and wainscoat and a couple of doors she went to Kwal and bought "Aspen White". A nice white color. So when I painted the doors I bought Aspen White from Kwal, same finish even. Now, when painting you always try to mix your paints of the same color together because it can be "slightly" off from can to can. Well apparently over the course of a few years slight differences turn into entire shades of color! Just check out the pictures. The trim and the door are both painted semi-gloss Aspen White. But they are entire shades off from each other. Now if it was far enough away, it would look like we meant it to be that far off, but no, it looks stupid. Great...... the birth of another major project in the future.
I spent an entire evening dismantling and cleaning doors, bought the paint, and got myself a neumatic spray painter out of the chore. Then rain was forcast for Saturday so I came home early Friday, lined the side of the house with plastic, set up the doors, and went to work. Or so I thought. It turns out that my new spray painter is a little too much man for my air compressor to handle. On top of that I had to spend a chunk of time figuring out the right amount to thin the paint for it to work optimally with the sprayer. Luckily my neighbor had a compressor I could borrow that could manage 5.7 SCFM, and I was off again.
With clouds threatening overhead I sprayed like a mad man. Finally, by the light of my motion activated back flood light I finished painting the 16th door. I stayed up late enough for the paint to dry so I could bring the doors in before the rain started, and felt pretty good about the whole deal.
Saturday morning..... clear. It did not rain even a couple of drops THE ENTIRE DAY. Fine, I like pretty days, so that was okay. I spent my time listening to conference and reassembling doors. That was when K made a startling observation.
So a couple years back when K painted all the trim and wainscoat and a couple of doors she went to Kwal and bought "Aspen White". A nice white color. So when I painted the doors I bought Aspen White from Kwal, same finish even. Now, when painting you always try to mix your paints of the same color together because it can be "slightly" off from can to can. Well apparently over the course of a few years slight differences turn into entire shades of color! Just check out the pictures. The trim and the door are both painted semi-gloss Aspen White. But they are entire shades off from each other. Now if it was far enough away, it would look like we meant it to be that far off, but no, it looks stupid. Great...... the birth of another major project in the future.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
How to Lie with Statistics
Alright, I don't often do this but I'm going to throw up a short little book review here. There are several reasons why this goes against my nature. One is that I have always hated book reports, and lets face it, that is exactly what a book review is. In fact, once we had to make a diarama for a book report in 5th grade. So that morning (having not read the book by the way) I emptied a cereal box into my bowl and, while eating breakfast, cut out a side of the box and drew stick figures in pencil on the dark cardboard inside. It looked like someone had taken a pair of scissors to a cereal box, but that's exactly what it was. Yes, I do take a lot of pride in my work so I was embarassed, but I hate book reports. The other thing is that people who attend book clubs and such either have a personality that really annoys me or I just get way to much pleasure out of poking them in the ribs. My favorite book report was presented by my brother in law. He didn't read Shogun (although he watched the show) and for their reports they were supposed to show up and do a little presentation as one of the characters in the book. So he went to class wrapped up in some robe and started spouting off in jibberish. When the teacher told him to speak understandibly he calmly turned to her and replied, "Lord Toronaga does not speak English!" He then continued his tirade of jibberish. For his effort he got an A. All right, I guess I better get to it.
I REALLY liked this book. I also know a lot of people who I would be able to stand a little better if they read it. Therefore, I had to write this review. It's a great book and it works well as a little bathroom reader. It is short, understandable, and funny. The greatest thing is that this book was written in the 1950's and is probably more applicable now then it was then. It is called "How to lie with statistics". The book goes step by step through all of the ways people, corporations, special interests, government, etc. use statistics to lie. It's a little reminiscent of King Benjamin's line, "I cannot tell you all the things whereby ye may commit sin." The book is insightful and painfully honest. Those of you have have read "Freakonomics" have seen first hand how lying with statistics can even produce a best seller. Anyway, pick yourself up a copy. You'll enjoy it and you might even learn something. By the way, 84.6% of the people who read this blog will go find the book, don't be one of the 15.4% who miss out!
I REALLY liked this book. I also know a lot of people who I would be able to stand a little better if they read it. Therefore, I had to write this review. It's a great book and it works well as a little bathroom reader. It is short, understandable, and funny. The greatest thing is that this book was written in the 1950's and is probably more applicable now then it was then. It is called "How to lie with statistics". The book goes step by step through all of the ways people, corporations, special interests, government, etc. use statistics to lie. It's a little reminiscent of King Benjamin's line, "I cannot tell you all the things whereby ye may commit sin." The book is insightful and painfully honest. Those of you have have read "Freakonomics" have seen first hand how lying with statistics can even produce a best seller. Anyway, pick yourself up a copy. You'll enjoy it and you might even learn something. By the way, 84.6% of the people who read this blog will go find the book, don't be one of the 15.4% who miss out!
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
My Pending Adoption into the Pottymouth Family
For those of you who don't know, in the "blogosphere" we affectionately call our neighbor Sister Pottymouth. A name she earned by swearing in her testimony of our Lord and Saviour while at a church girl's camp. After that she was officially dubbed the title by the young women. Well, I may be joining that camp.
Recently I've been teaching Sunday School to the 12 and 13 year olds. Last Sunday we were talking about the Plan of Salvation. One kid in the class read a scripture referencing what happens to those people who, well, lets just say they don't get a passing grade in life. When I asked him what the scripture was about it wasn't surprising for a young Utah Mormon boy to reply "They go to, uh, heck". What was surprising to the kids in the class was my quick Eastern tongue retorting "Oh come one, its hell. If there's one place you can say hell, it's church." To which I quickly added "because in church we talk about it as an actual place." I quickly changed the subject. Given the way stories go, by the time enough people hear the story I might not be teaching Sunday School anymore.
I probably shouldn't mention that it could be worse. When I was a missionary I learned that in the Bible the word "hell" is derived from the Hebrew word Sheol, meaning the place where all spirits go when they depart this life. To a particular sister missionary I liked to goad, I would repeatedly remind her that we were all going to "go to hell anyway". Yeah. Oh well.
Recently I've been teaching Sunday School to the 12 and 13 year olds. Last Sunday we were talking about the Plan of Salvation. One kid in the class read a scripture referencing what happens to those people who, well, lets just say they don't get a passing grade in life. When I asked him what the scripture was about it wasn't surprising for a young Utah Mormon boy to reply "They go to, uh, heck". What was surprising to the kids in the class was my quick Eastern tongue retorting "Oh come one, its hell. If there's one place you can say hell, it's church." To which I quickly added "because in church we talk about it as an actual place." I quickly changed the subject. Given the way stories go, by the time enough people hear the story I might not be teaching Sunday School anymore.
I probably shouldn't mention that it could be worse. When I was a missionary I learned that in the Bible the word "hell" is derived from the Hebrew word Sheol, meaning the place where all spirits go when they depart this life. To a particular sister missionary I liked to goad, I would repeatedly remind her that we were all going to "go to hell anyway". Yeah. Oh well.
A Bucket of Communist Chicken
So last night while I was doing dishes my kids were watching an episode of Dora the Explorer in which the supposedly legal hispanic immigrant child Dora pretends to be a doctor to all of her talking animal friends. The point of the episode is to help Benny the Bull who has a cold, but along the way she helps other deranged, I mean estranged, animals.
In her adventure she comes across something struggling in a bush. What is it? A BIG RED Chicken! And it's stuck! How? It's foot is caught in a BUCKET (I swear it is only missing a picture of Colonel Sanders on the side)!!!! I couldn't stop laughing. They come across A BIG BUCKET OF RED CHICKEN while on the way to help a SICK BULL. Okay, to spell it out for some of you there are about a dozen references here communism, financial markets, and fried chicken in general. After they help the chicken out of the bucket, they tauntingly ask, "We have a surprise for you big chicken, do you want to know what it is?" If my kids hadn't been in the room, I would have blurted out "A big vat of hot oil?!" I can't remember enjoying a cartoon so much since I was old enough to believe such things really happened somewhere somehow.
In her adventure she comes across something struggling in a bush. What is it? A BIG RED Chicken! And it's stuck! How? It's foot is caught in a BUCKET (I swear it is only missing a picture of Colonel Sanders on the side)!!!! I couldn't stop laughing. They come across A BIG BUCKET OF RED CHICKEN while on the way to help a SICK BULL. Okay, to spell it out for some of you there are about a dozen references here communism, financial markets, and fried chicken in general. After they help the chicken out of the bucket, they tauntingly ask, "We have a surprise for you big chicken, do you want to know what it is?" If my kids hadn't been in the room, I would have blurted out "A big vat of hot oil?!" I can't remember enjoying a cartoon so much since I was old enough to believe such things really happened somewhere somehow.
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